We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
