now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
No subtext here. People are naked.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
