So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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