In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
