complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
