He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
