i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
