I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
