My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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