i think my tv is drunk
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
