Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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