Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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