What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize