All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
