It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
