so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
