I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
