last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
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This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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