Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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