Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
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At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
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I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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