doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
