I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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