After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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