please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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