So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
