drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
