you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
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I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
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the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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