why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
