Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Your penis caused this!
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