If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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