I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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