You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
