therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
