weddingsv make me drug and hornr
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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