i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
