just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
