omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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