You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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