Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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