Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
