there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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