I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
