I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize