i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I currently don't understand fingers.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
