she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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