Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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