If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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