Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
