What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
