i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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