My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
