You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
