Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
