He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
