chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
