Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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