So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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