i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
her facebook's as public as her vagina
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
