More tranny stories later!
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
