shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
