i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
