Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I should be a condom model.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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