After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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